INTRO PARAGRAPH

   Did you know twenty percent of children introduced to stepparents have very unstable emotional/psychological problems? Not all stepparents cause these kinds of problems but not all stepparents know how to be a good parent. Bad step-parenting is a topic that is not talked about as much as it should be, and is actually becoming a serious threatening problem in some households. Being a parent is not as simple as it looks but it is important when you take on marriage, you also have to take on being a good and supportive parent, no matter what complications are thrown your way.

And They All Lived Happily Ever After! Kind of...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/13/1a/3e/131a3e174c516879bb6f00508689d00f.jpg

 

         And they all lived happily ever after....

                         Well kind of...

 

 

        This will be the ending to my story, as a new book is being written. The outcome of my stepmom being so dreadfully awful to my resulted in me moving out. Even though I had moved out of the house, does not mean she was out of my life. Even up to this day she still does not leave me alone. She finds ways to get inside my head through text or social media, or even a rumor that eventually comes to me. Due to this I have decided my best option was to block my dad and stepmother, and any other connections to them which I had, because then they could not get inside my head.

 

      Now that I am free from their chains, I feel better than I have ever been.

 

    Yes, I miss my dad. But I refuse to let them back into my life. I refuse to let ANY negative people bring me down now.

 

    Psychology Today says, "Constant exposure to such negativity can make deep inroads into your bank of positivity, leading you to either become negative—diffident, anxious, and distrustful—yourself, or to become indifferent, uncaring, or even mean towards the negative person."

 

    Therefore, my biggest rule is to always stay positive, no matter what, no matter how tough any situation is. Surrounding yourself with positive people can also influence your thoughts and actions.

 

   Now that I can live my own positive life, I plan to work hard to become successful. I am a freshman at Stevenson University, and plan on majoring in Psychology. Nothing will stop me, or slow me down. One day I will help others who had to deal with the same or similar experiences that I had to.

 

I hope you enjoyed my blog! Please feel free to comment!

 

 



My Sister's Story

   

    A famous pair of sisters most of us know about is Anna and Elsa from Disney's Frozen. The overall moral of this storyline is, no matter what, sisters have to stick together.

    My sister has always had my back. But at times I was brainwashed and did not do the same. My sister is two years older then me. She had left my dad's house her freshmen year of high school, as I survived until my senior year of high school. Our stepmom never really liked my sister, and made my dad make a decision to choose between my sister or herself. My dad chose our stepmom and my sister had to leave. After she left the house we rarely saw eachother for the next five years... until now.

I have decided to interview my sister on the topic, to show that I am not alone in this.

 

How did it feel for your dad to choose your stepmom over you? 

    It felt terrible. I would have never of thought my dad would have chosen a woman that was not even my mom over me.

 

Can you recall a certain memory/moment with your stepmom that really affected you?

    One moment that really affected me with my stepmom was when she threatened to leave my dad if my dad wouldn't kick me out of my house.

 

Why do you think she acts the way she does toward you?

     I believe she acts the way she does towards me because she secretly knows she is crazy and doesn't want my dad to be around anyone but her because they will warn him about her issues.

 

Would you like to share any other thoughts about your experience?

    One thought I would like to share about this experience is that you should never get married until you actually know someone. And you know someone is a problem when you are not even aloud to talk to your own children and parents.

   So sisters, stick together, have eachother's backs, and love eachother. I regret never standing up for my sister five years ago, do not make the mistake that I made.

Guilt Trip

http://s279.photobucket.com/user/jzalisa/media/6498fdd3-774a-472e-9b82-283f6485fec4.jpg.html

 

        "Why me?" This is a question I commonly asked as I sat in my bedroom late at night. In the beginning there were nights where I would just lay in bed crying, because it felt like it was the end of the world. My dad meant the world to me, but now I just feel betrayed by him. He would not stand up for me. I was told that I had destroyed this perfect family since I left my dads house. That was the first time I had ever seen him cry. This only made me feel guilty and it made me feel like such an awful person.

 

   I was on a "Guilt Trip"

 

   Psychology Today says, "guilt-provokers are often guilt-sufferers themselves." Therefore, my stepmom must have known that I was not the one who cause all of the catastrophe, but it was also of her wrong-doings.

 

Think About It:

1. Do you know someone who tries to get their way or control you by making you feel guilty? Yes/No
2. Do you know someone who makes you feel “less than” by constantly comparing you to others? Yes/No
3. Do you know someone who acts like an angry victim? Yes/No
4. Do you feel emotionally and/or physically drained after being with someone who is complaining or berating you? Yes/No
5. Do you know someone who you are always trying to please but never seem to do things correctly? Yes/No

  Here are your results.


   Looking back at it, I know I did not destroy that family. There were already so many underlying problems, and so much stress and anger. I did not deserve those guilt trips, and neither does anyone else.

   Do you have a parent that tries to take you on a guilt trip? Comment and/or share your stories below!



The Cinderella Effect

 

 

       Did you know that it is more common to have abuse by a stepparent rather then a biological parent?

 

     The Cinderella Effect is a term used by psychologists to describe the higher incidence in maltreatment or abuse in children by stepparents compared to their biological parents.

 

   "The version of the fairy tale of Cinderella most people are familiar with involves a controlling and manipulative step mother, two step sisters that receive all their mother’s love and affection, and a neglected step child, Cinderella, who is forced to cook and clean and isolated from the rest of the family.  Cinderella’s father dies, but instead of embracing Cinderella as one of her own, the evil step mother shuns her and treats her like a servant.  The Cinderella Effect is named after this version of the story"

 

    The Resource Theory of The Cinderella Effect suggests that a stepparent may try to claim their dominant role through violence or intimidation. But there are many different ideas behind the Cinderella Effect, like a stepparent's personality, stress, or the evolutionary idea that a child that is not linked to a person genetics, will not be protected and taken care of as their own.

 

    This is not just physical abuse, but also emotional. I have felt the emotional abuse from my own experience of the Cinderella Effect. But the truth is there is not a fairy godmother, or some man that is going to save you. You have to be your own hero. It will be mentally scarring and very tough. I myself had to battle through some depression, but in the long run, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

   Don't be afraid to share your story, it is your turn to be heard!